I can’t do that!
“Ahh that’s so cool. I’d love to be able to do that. I’m just not any good, never have been. ”
Have these words ever come out of your mouth? Popped into your head? That you’re not good enough to do something you think is pretty cool, that what you find exciting is way out of reach and something that only those ‘other people’ do.
I hear these kinds of comments all the time, just dropped into conversation, without much thought behind them.
“I’ve never been able to run. I need alcohol to hit the dance floor. I’m a useless speller, so I don’t write. I’m too inflexible to practise yoga. I wish I had the confidence to speak in front of people. If only I had the skills to put on a workshop.”
Excuses, excuses, excuses. Sorry to be blunt, but these are what they are. We look on in amazement at what other people are doing, telling ourselves that we’re incapable: not smart enough, strong enough, important enough, pretty enough – ‘good enough’ to be doing it too.
But by nurturing these thoughts and beliefs, we put the very things we dream of out of reach and then wonder why we’re left unfulfilled.
Can you relate to this feeling of unfulfillment? A panging deep inside?
Well, I’m here to offer you a different perspective. A new approach to those scary, distant and unfathomable things we’ve convinced ourselves we can’t do.Â I want you to know that those things we’ve made impossible are actually VERY POSSIBLE, the dreams we’ve caused to subside CAN be put back afloat and the skills we need in order to live the life we so desire are finger distance away.
So, are you ready to claim the qualities that you so long for, practise the skills you want to be yours, be the oh-so-amazing person you were born to be?
It’s time to be one of those ‘other people’. Hold tight. This might shake you up.
How to be one of those ‘other people’
So, let’s go for it eh? Let’s get the ballet shoes out of the dusty box. Let’s find our diary and allow creativity to flow again. Let’s buy a new cossie and hit the pool…
But hang on, is it really that simple?
Don’t we need some groundwork? A bit of time to adjust and find our feet? Can we really just get up of the sofa and dive straight into the swimming pool, being one of those ‘out there’ people?
YES! Yes we can! We really can do that. There’s no big process here, not really. We don’t need long periods of time to get ready, months to prepare ourselves. We can get going today! Right now in fact.
Feed your self-belief
Sound scary? Good! I’m trying to budge you out of your comfort zone. And ‘fear’ plays a big part here. Yes, it is scary to start the ball rolling. We may feel panicked when our first toe reaches new water, anxious to leave the nest and terrified of telling others what we’re up to:
“I’ve decided to jump out of a plane. I’m taking a knitting class. I’m going to become a hip-hop dancer. I’m running a marathon.”
Let me hear you say it – sscaarrryyyy stuff!!
But NOT a reason to lie low, dip out, forget it or pretend you never wanted to do this crazy thing anyway.
So, sure, you’re gonna need a little self-belief. Quite a bit in fact, so that when the going gets tough and you hear your partner cry “YOU. You are joining a music band. Don’t be silly. You don’t know music for s***!” you can take it. And even when your parents or your best friend doubts you, you can hold yourself steady and strong amidst the questions firing, defending your idea and your passion firmly.
But no need to worry here. The confidence and the self-belief will come. Just set the ball in motion and get out there and you’ll be surprised at how quickly it can all come to you. Don’t let anyone tell you your idea, your dream is out of reach.
Change the story.
Why has it taken so long? I hear you saying.
The only reason that we’ve been sitting back a while, letting the people around us and on the TV inspire us whilst we tell ourselves that we can’t do what they’re dong is because we’ve allowed these beliefs in and we’ve chosen to strengthen them rather than get rid or change them.
But now we can see that those beliefs we’ve been hanging on to are waaaay out of date, we can start to change the story, create a new history, so we don’t look back on time wasted. So don’t worry too much about the past, just get stuck in to the present.
You’re the headline. You’re the star of your own show. Live it, don’t watch it.
Last Sunday on 17th October, I ran the Amsterdam marathon. To see me and my bud at various ‘k’ points along the way (42 in total), here’s a video clip.
Not a particularly impressive runner before and certainly no long distancer, I went for it. All 26 miles. I set myself the challenge in December 2009, as one of my New Year’s Resolutions.’ I blogged about it: Why I’m Running The Marathon in 2010 and I told the world. (Well I had to make myself accountable didn’t I? More scary stuff :))
Rather than wait for proof that I could do it, I leapt at the chance, plunging myself into the unknown. Did I feel fear? Oh yes, you betcha. Did I stumble? Yes I came back from my first five minute run wheezing and feeling sick.Â But I decided I wasn’t going to let any fear or hiccups stand between me and my exciting challenge. I wanted to be a runner and I knew that if I did all the things that ‘those running people’ do, there was no reason why I couldn’t too. So, I kept at it, training strong, running good distances, allowing people to call me a runner – and it felt good. I was inspiring ME rather than just being inspired by others. To track back over my journey, here’s my April blog Training For The Marathon: The Journey So Far, written just after completing my first half-marathon in Oxford.
I want you too to watch yourself do what you thought only other people did, see photos of yourself wearing the medals you thought only others wore, make news, instead of just watching it.
So, go for it. Pick up the phone right now and book a first class or course in something you’d love to try. Ask a friend to join you in an exciting challenge. Commit to seeing your dreams through.
Please leave a comment below sharing things you’ve already done which are like this, where you’ve been the star of your own show. Or, leave a comment about how you’re going to get out there now and cease the opportunities available, making headlines.
If you’ve been inspired by running and would like to start pacing pavements, then why don’t you join me on my next organised run? On March 20th 2011, I’ll be taking part in the Reading Half-Marathon. Check out the site for details and let me know if you decide on it. Be great to see you there!
If you think yoga could be your thing and you’d like to come along to a class, then take a look at what I offer. Yoga can help brilliantly with building up self-belief and confidence – just what you need to BE one of those ‘other people’.
I so look forward to hearing from you, with all your tales of getting out there and being the stars of your own show!
Want to hear more about my marathon achievement: what inspired my journey and motivated me to reach the finish line? AND discover quality information for how such skills can be transferable into setting up your own business? then Corrina Gordon-Barnes’ blog 5 Business-Building Insights From A First-Time Marathon Runner is well worth a read. You’ll find invaluable nuggets of advice here.
Love how you throw down the gauntlet for us, leading by example. Thanks to you, I’ve now run my first 5K and am looking for a great 10K to get my teeth into.
I remember reading in Debbie Ford’s ‘Dark Side of The Light Chasers’ that just as we disown our darkest sides and project them onto others, we do the same with our lightest, most magnificent sides. She suggested that’s why celebrities earn so much money: because we literally pay them to carry our brilliance so that we don’t have to own it. Because as you say, it’s scary to take that responsibility and actually act.
One of my areas for professional development is integrating video into my site. Out of my comfort zone? Yes – both being in front of the camera AND the techie side. Worth moving forward with? Most definitely. So I’ll take on your challenge in that area and you can feel free to nudge and nag me whenever you like 😉
Thanks for being such an inspiration. And any others of you reading, do check out my blog post (below) which translates Rosanna’s marathon-mindset into the context of building a thriving, sustainable business.